Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/wultb9vd  ·  submitted 1997

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/tbra32py  ·  submitted 1997

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/h54z3wxd  ·  submitted 1997

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/2kf4ndl1  ·  submitted 1997

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/r8nedjty  ·  submitted 1998

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/u1yhdeyw  ·  submitted 1999

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/koyyq54r  ·  submitted 1997

If you love your job, you will never have to work another day in your life.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ckgbheun  ·  submitted 1997

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you -- but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/t2ay3kb5  ·  submitted 1997

If you see a turtle on a fence post, he has had some help.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/bafxiwkf  ·  submitted 1997

If you treat a person as he is, he will remain as he is. If you treat him for what he could be, he will become what he could be.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ajwgbtvf  ·  submitted 1997

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/f8mrmb30  ·  submitted 1997

If you wish you be like someone else, you waste the person you are.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/90upthng  ·  submitted 1999

If you're here, you're alive.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/2fem3dfi  ·  submitted 1997

Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/u1iblda0  ·  submitted 1997

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zvh1wgvj  ·  submitted 1997

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/skc4wmie  ·  submitted 1997

It doesn't <EM>take</EM> all kinds -- we just <EM>have</EM> all kinds.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/f0ndwhvx  ·  submitted 1997

Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world.

Unknown, in Health and Disease

tiny.ag/1kbmhsw6  ·  submitted 1997

In politics people work hard to get a job and do little after they get it.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ohvcxj98  ·  submitted 1997

Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Unknown, in Success and Failure