Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/gwiaxqqe  ·  submitted 1997

Nothing is more intolerable than to have to admit to yourself your own errors.

Ludwig van Beethoven, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ry72cat0  ·  submitted 1997

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.

Douglas MacArthur, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/qiy9xdhn  ·  submitted 1997

To "be" means to be related.

Alfred Korzybski, Science and Sanity, 1933 (4th ed., 1958), in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/d3ttj2ag  ·  submitted 1997

You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.

Elbert Hubbard, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/wh6qtopk  ·  submitted 1997

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/6jxieopf  ·  submitted 1997

A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ocxoq7dr  ·  submitted 1997

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/if7zb5ls  ·  submitted 1997

Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.

Molly Ivins, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/iqolobqc  ·  submitted 1997

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/s3j4zgfm  ·  submitted 1997

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw  ·  submitted 1997

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/bjsd3gdi  ·  submitted 1997

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/x2tnoops  ·  submitted 1997

The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/yamidgsg  ·  submitted 1999

Ignorance does not necesarilly mean one has a lack of wisdom, for a most ignorant person can be one with much wisdom. It's "live and learn" that creates wisdom.

Austin Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/airwcz94  ·  submitted 1997

A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out.

G. C. Lichtenberg, in Art and Literature and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/64hrko9k  ·  submitted 1997

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/yqo9cx7w  ·  submitted 1997

Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/la8pw7kl  ·  submitted 1997

We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!

Rudyard Kipling, in Success and Failure