Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

1–20 (422)

tiny.ag/piw4y7md · submitted 1997

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/p7q95xlg · submitted 1997

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fpgp1ubk · submitted 1997

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/qksor8sl · submitted 1997

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/epdarexm · submitted 1999 by Jim Mueller

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/f2qlymio · submitted 1997

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/lhewzazm · submitted 1997

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/v0yeshan · submitted 1997

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/4asrjxv3 · submitted 1997

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/exb7lihg · submitted 1997

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/5edntuvq · submitted 1997

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6jbweh3g · submitted 1999 by John Cannizzaro

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/fsy6lb1v · submitted 1997

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/stfdm53a · submitted 1997

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/aqhc8mvh · submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ugvde1cx · submitted 1997

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/d6tftb8q · submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/eanvvuth · submitted 1997

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/fwsgb93v · submitted 1997

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink

tiny.ag/hsipkpnw · submitted 1997

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

1–20 (422)