Unknown

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in Work and Recreation

Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.

Unknown, (sometimes, almost certainly incorrectly, attributed to the Buddha), in Life and Death

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Unknown, (Muslim proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Truth fears no questions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue