Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
121–140 (422)
tiny.ag/ceh5zfoy · submitted 1997
There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.
tiny.ag/mz7zqsiw · submitted 1997
There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.
Unknown, in Love and Hate
tiny.ag/tp4xrqcg · submitted 1997
There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.
tiny.ag/h6nrslrd · submitted 1997
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.
tiny.ag/wnvuqdit · submitted 1997
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Unknown, in Love and Hate
tiny.ag/d0mhaxyw · submitted 1997
Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
tiny.ag/pb2gjrze · submitted 1997
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.
tiny.ag/r3bhbgos · submitted 1997
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
tiny.ag/l9jtfiar · submitted 1997
To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.
tiny.ag/uxknfqoq · submitted 1997
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/zm6nq4mh · submitted 1997
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
tiny.ag/hzol4xrd · submitted 1997
Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.
tiny.ag/y8tf4vup · submitted 1997
Wasting time is an important part of living.
tiny.ag/r8nedjty · submitted 1998
Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
tiny.ag/h54z3wxd · submitted 1997
Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.
Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/tbra32py · submitted 1997
Use soft words and hard arguments.
tiny.ag/wultb9vd · submitted 1997
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
tiny.ag/yqwcpnfd · submitted 1997
To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.
tiny.ag/6e8jdhxa · submitted 1997
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
121–140 (422)