Unknown

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The scriptures teach us the best way of living, the noblest ways of suffering, and the most comfortable ways of dying.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

The secret to life is that there is no secret.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Strategy: A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime after those creating it have left the organization.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The strong take from the weak, but the smart take from the strong.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

The surest way of having something done is to forbid your kids to do it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe.

Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Success and Failure

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation