Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
141–160 (422)
tiny.ag/puraglae · submitted 1997
If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.
tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n · submitted 1997
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.
Unknown, in Men and Women
tiny.ag/0xhdtnul · submitted 1997
If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.
tiny.ag/gjpds4m8 · submitted 1997
If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.
tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp · submitted 1997
If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
tiny.ag/piw4y7md · submitted 1997
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
tiny.ag/fwsgb93v · submitted 1997
If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.
tiny.ag/eanvvuth · submitted 1997
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
tiny.ag/d6tftb8q · submitted 1997
If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.
Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/ugvde1cx · submitted 1997
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
tiny.ag/aqhc8mvh · submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
tiny.ag/stfdm53a · submitted 1997
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
tiny.ag/fsy6lb1v · submitted 1997
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
tiny.ag/6jbweh3g · submitted 1999 by John Cannizzaro
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
tiny.ag/5edntuvq · submitted 1997
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
tiny.ag/exb7lihg · submitted 1997
I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.
Unknown, in Men and Women
tiny.ag/4asrjxv3 · submitted 1997
I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
tiny.ag/4yehmrsj · submitted 1997
All extremists should be taken out and shot.
tiny.ag/lv1mbo3c · submitted 1997
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
tiny.ag/hwk0yobb · submitted 1997
All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure
141–160 (422)