Submissions
These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.
5081–5100 (5307)
tiny.ag/5uj3b7il · submitted 2001
In ten thousand years, nothing has changed. The high priests and priestesses are still ordering the peasants to sacrifice their gold, their crops, their land, and their children to the Nature Goddess, or the Nature Goddess will destroy them. The only difference is that nowadays they call it "Environmentalism."
tiny.ag/3atbn8jv · submitted 2001
The secret to ruling the world is supposedly to tell people exactly what they want to hear. I say that the trick before THAT is to convince them that what you want to say is what they want to hear.
tiny.ag/rvtqbwos · submitted 2001
"Open your mind" is the pathetic bleat of those who have no mind of their own.
tiny.ag/dtrzxqv2 · submitted 2001
This is the paradox of our times: we claim proudly to live in a country founded and run by "the common man"-- yet we dismiss, out of hand, the insights of the common man into his own society if he is not a lettered celebrity. If we have a question about agriculture or land laws, we'll ask a politician, a bureaucrat, a famous "researcher" or a hollywood activist for their insights-- but we would never stoop to asking a farmer.
tiny.ag/8msxikod · submitted 2001
"Anecdotal." I always wonder why liberals, who claim to care about the individual, always dismiss the stories of real flesh and blood people as "merely anecdotal." I wonder if they would feel themselves to be "merely anecdotal" if their own experiences and concerns were so brusquely dismissed from consideration.
tiny.ag/hzq6q18i · submitted 2001
Hollywood types and Washington babies are all for freedom of the press-- so long as they think only the "right" kind of people will be able to afford it.
tiny.ag/vuetswcz · submitted 2001
The creation of the internet was the creation of our politicians' and media moguls' worst nightmare-- a cheap, easy-to-use, and truly global medium that they can neither shout down nor of which they can gain exclusive control....
tiny.ag/m0obweiq · submitted 2001
The real reason that the aristocracy of Hollywood and Washington D.C. fear and hate the internet has nothing to do with loving concern for me and you, and everything to do with the fact that they cannot personally control it.
tiny.ag/qpszxtlb · submitted 2001
Funny how the people who can't seem to comprehend the legal definition of pornography have no trouble actually finding it.
tiny.ag/bik2t7ui · submitted 2001
Look to Japan and Holland and other nations which have cast off even the limited moral restraints of our own society. They have fewer sex crimes on the books-- but only because many of the obscene assaults we condemn in America are no longer sex crimes in those lands. They have not seen a reduction in those behaviors, they have merely seen fewer of them actively condemned as crimes.... Fewer still are those that are reported to authorities--- why should a civic force which has loosened moral strictures across the board care about your "minor" problem, after all?--- and a higher percentage of the remaining forms of sexual assault are increasingly degrading and violent.....
tiny.ag/ryuqx7qp · submitted 2001
Conviction is cheap in a world that doesn't value morals.
tiny.ag/3la9eb5p · submitted 2001
I am only right in that time which I agree with God.
tiny.ag/eeht1kjg · submitted 2001
Yes, animals in the wild engage in apparent homosexual behavior. Animals in the wild also sleep naked in trees and eat their own poop. You'll pardon me if I think neither behavior is worthy of emulation.
tiny.ag/gspxjvfm · submitted 2001
How far can porn possibly go? I've seen people peddling every possible and impossible fetish imaginable-- stuff so grotesque, so bizarre it defies description.... Sooner or later they're going to reach a point where they're not going to think they got their porn-dollar's worth till they see someone literally turn inside out and explode.
tiny.ag/dcazqfq0 · submitted 2001
The reason liberals are throwing such a screaming fit over standardized testing in public schools is obvious: Nothing infuriates a man intent on cheating you more than using a ruler and a scale to measure his product.
tiny.ag/sud9aw0i · submitted 2001
Washington is such a mess because most American voters are making political decisions with a broken bullsh*t detector.
tiny.ag/t7hivu6o · submitted 2001
If God created Man on the Seventh Day, His fatigue was obvious.
tiny.ag/m0zvut1y · submitted 2001
The only political conviction I have is that most politicians should be convicted.
tiny.ag/ahl2zuia · submitted 2001
One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of godÂ’s existence.
Steve Aylett, Atom /
The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.
Aylett, Bigot Hall /
How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message?
Slaughtermatic, Aylett /
We have truth in order not to die of art.
Bigot Hall, Aylett /
Staring is its own reward.
Aylett, Toxicology /
What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?
Aylett, Atom
Steve Aylett, Aylett writes satire novels like ATOM.
tiny.ag/dljxlzh0 · submitted 2001
Sometimes the best battle strategy is knowing when to surrender.
5081–5100 (5307)