Aphorisms Galore!

Submissions

These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.

5161–5180 (5402)

tiny.ag/1ne3cyau  ·  submitted 2001

The trouble with the rat race ie that even if you win,

Lily Tomlin

tiny.ag/36oixxb2  ·  submitted 2001

I am not more able because I can, but because I will. I then become more able because I did.

Kevin Hawk, A personal observation

tiny.ag/iwh2sa6c  ·  submitted 2001

I'm looking forward to finding out if I am moving forward or onward. Either way, it's forward and onward.

Kevin Hawk, Awaiting the company's layoff decisions

tiny.ag/kx8suvzn  ·  submitted 2001

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger

Grandma Nancy Blackmore

tiny.ag/axap48g1  ·  submitted 2001

A radish may know no Greek, but I do.

Augustus, Roman emperor; month "August" named for.

tiny.ag/qdwxgul8  ·  submitted 2001

Am I not a free man? In fact, one of the freest in Rome.

Claudius I, Roman emperor, 41-54 AD

tiny.ag/iheivfxc  ·  submitted 2001

To those who say that the media doesn't affect how they behave or think, I have three words: Bud. Weis. Er.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/vkx7fwom  ·  submitted 2001

I'd love to change the world, but I can't find a big enough diaper.

The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com

tiny.ag/qnhipnxf  ·  submitted 2001

Only join a religion if it has a good waterslide.

The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com

tiny.ag/vuifoe0o  ·  submitted 2001

If I don't believe in solipsism, who will?

The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com, My favorite site

tiny.ag/iw24t5gu  ·  submitted 2001

Those who worship human knowledge and reason have a village idiot for a god.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/7dx4iucg  ·  submitted 2001

The atheist may not worship God, but he certainly worships something. He worships human knowledge, human reason-- of which he considers himself the supreme example because he does not believe in God. In short, he worships himself.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/vhxzyp83  ·  submitted 2001

The war between the philosophers and the bean counters is over. The bean counters won.

Unknown

tiny.ag/vjo14nno  ·  submitted 2001

Primitive man's real relationship with the spirits of Nature generally consisted of: "Oh, mighty Jaguar God, would you be so kind as to please not eat us today ?"

RHJunior

tiny.ag/f9ligbpm  ·  submitted 2001

Yes, primitive man was at one with Nature. And as the well-fed lion would tell you, generally from the inside.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/5uj3b7il  ·  submitted 2001

In ten thousand years, nothing has changed. The high priests and priestesses are still ordering the peasants to sacrifice their gold, their crops, their land, and their children to the Nature Goddess, or the Nature Goddess will destroy them. The only difference is that nowadays they call it "Environmentalism."

RHJunior

tiny.ag/3atbn8jv  ·  submitted 2001

The secret to ruling the world is supposedly to tell people exactly what they want to hear. I say that the trick before THAT is to convince them that what you want to say is what they want to hear.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/rvtqbwos  ·  submitted 2001

"Open your mind" is the pathetic bleat of those who have no mind of their own.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/dtrzxqv2  ·  submitted 2001

This is the paradox of our times: we claim proudly to live in a country founded and run by "the common man"-- yet we dismiss, out of hand, the insights of the common man into his own society if he is not a lettered celebrity. If we have a question about agriculture or land laws, we'll ask a politician, a bureaucrat, a famous "researcher" or a hollywood activist for their insights-- but we would never stoop to asking a farmer.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/8msxikod  ·  submitted 2001

"Anecdotal." I always wonder why liberals, who claim to care about the individual, always dismiss the stories of real flesh and blood people as "merely anecdotal." I wonder if they would feel themselves to be "merely anecdotal" if their own experiences and concerns were so brusquely dismissed from consideration.

RHJunior

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