Submissions
These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.
4721–4740 (6017)
tiny.ag/jr2m6skb · submitted 2005
Dinosaurs eat man...Women inherit the earth.
Ellie, Jurassic Park
tiny.ag/xft24ge3 · submitted 2005
I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.
Diane, Happiness
tiny.ag/neaxsqvc · submitted 2005
Swearing is like any other music...If it is not done well, if it is not done with a fine and discriminating art, and vitalized with gracious and heartborn feeling, it lacks beauty, it lacks charm, it lacks expression, it lacks nobleness, it lacks majesty...
David Gridley, Indiantown
tiny.ag/gwv4gkoz · submitted 2005
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
Dave Barry, The Taming of the Screw
tiny.ag/dvhixz30 · submitted 2005
There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts.
Christine Lavin, Prisoners of their Hairdos
tiny.ag/txdmusrf · submitted 2005
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton, Canada Month, June 1963
tiny.ag/baweghzo · submitted 2005
Most things in this world don't work, but aspirin do.
Black Fuhrer of Harlem, Mother Night
tiny.ag/wbrnluif · submitted 2005
Now the time has come.
I put two bullets in my gun.
One for me, and one for you.
Oh darling, it will be so beautiful.
Annie Wilkes, Misery
tiny.ag/xachswqr · submitted 2005
A friend will pick you up when you fall. A true friend will take pictures
tiny.ag/m7t5fcpk · submitted 2005
Remember those ads for soap that claimed it was "99.44% pure?" Ever say to yourself, "Yeah, but pure WHAT?"
tiny.ag/smxiuvrg · submitted 2005
When historians note that Hitler originally studied to be an artist, but his paintings were mediocre, I get a little uneasy. I mean, what if someday there was another mediocre artist somewhere ... maybe even right here in the USA?
John Alejandro King, The Covert Comic!, www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/jichbxaz · submitted 2005
I bet when future generations study the beliefs and customs of our era, they'll shake their collective head in disbelief.
... Just that one gigantic, collective head.
tiny.ag/6sgbpfal · submitted 2005
If global warming was outlawed, only outlaws would warm their globes.
John Alejandro King, 'The Covert Comic', (www.covertcomic.com)
tiny.ag/bviosi6z · submitted 2005
A wise man changes his mind as often as he sees reason.
tiny.ag/oxgubest · submitted 2005
Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone
tiny.ag/fr9qdkqv · submitted 2005
The best plan of reconstruction is not destroying before.
tiny.ag/2gtkbeaf · submitted 2005
Happy is the man who never sees South Yorkshire
Trevor Wainwright, Trevor Wainwright's Journeys
tiny.ag/l9eyrt0k · submitted 2005
Every enduring religion, political party or country begins with a crime. And every businessman buys respespectability with ill-gotten gains.
Tom Burnett, by me
tiny.ag/vejn0zdp · submitted 2005
Its a short cut, it is meant to be difficult; If it was easy, it would just be the way
tiny.ag/8repfb4y · submitted 2005
If the American borders were any less secure, the Mexicans would be selling refried beans to the Canadian Mounties.
4721–4740 (6017)