Ambrose Bierce
American author and journalist; b. 1842; d. 1913
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
1–20 (29)
tiny.ag/fiog0z7u · submitted 1997
Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted into each others' pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics and War and Peace
tiny.ag/imyvlox8 · submitted 1997
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/tckzdvry · submitted 1997
Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate
tiny.ag/6kh8ljvj · submitted 1997
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
tiny.ag/ca72ttqk · submitted 1997
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
tiny.ag/rfa7bnoi · submitted 1997
Incompatibility: In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate
tiny.ag/vkpbru1q · submitted 1997
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, "patriotism" is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.
tiny.ag/3b0kjrvh · submitted 1997
Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate
tiny.ag/snlzrsu1 · submitted 1997
Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/opp6altk · submitted 1997
Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/gzduntch · submitted 1997
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Science and Religion
tiny.ag/dxvyak3f · submitted 1997
Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/yfqykgpj · submitted 1997
Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the fool their lack of understanding.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/lvxaopme · submitted 1997
Accuse: To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged them.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/osjwdfeg · submitted 1997
Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Life and Death and Men and Women
tiny.ag/ojk8xbtj · submitted 1997
Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/wirqwxvl · submitted 1997
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
tiny.ag/ghcdyyrg · submitted 1997
Cannon: An instrument used in the rectification of national boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/viymqgdo · submitted 1997
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
tiny.ag/azsgcja4 · submitted 1997
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Wealth and Poverty
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