Submissions
These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.
5261–5280 (5956)
tiny.ag/xjhosvu2 · submitted 2002
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farmer, two condors, a miniature pony, a rare black rhino, a lemur, a silver
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pandas, eighty-seven domesticated house cats, a spider monkey named "Chet," a
fly, a long-haired wiener dog and a kitchen sink.
tiny.ag/wje4daft · submitted 2002
I am of the conviction that most people believe in God only so that they can have someone to blame.
tiny.ag/mdp6svoh · submitted 2002
Listen, if human beings are smart enough to figure out whether to put a G, PG, R or X in front of a movie, then they've already demonstrated they know what obscenity is. They just don't want to go from the step of recognizing it to the step of abolishing it.
tiny.ag/zwhcb7xk · submitted 2002
I am as averse to giving the power of censorship to a government as I would be to giving a loaded flamethrower to the village idiot.
tiny.ag/9gcjzxzi · submitted 2002
In Christ's time on earth, cynics-- ones who would not be swayed by reason or common sense-- cried for "a sign." Today they cry for statistics. Both are merely excuses for not using your own rational abilities.
tiny.ag/ka1juzyn · submitted 2002
I find it hysterical that politicians and media figureheads are worried about the internet's influence on social mores. It's rather like the fox worrying that the dog will steal all the chickens first.
tiny.ag/yfzndouj · submitted 2002
To not resist evil, even if need be by force, is to partake of it.
tiny.ag/d5x3cank · submitted 2002
If reason were a bullet, these people could dodge it like something out of The Matrix
tiny.ag/rnoex7oi · submitted 2002
All you people wringing your hands over the Amazon rainforest-- have you even bothered to note that it isn't your property, and is therefore none of your business? It belongs to the people of Brazil. How would you feel if a bunch of badly dressed Brazilian tourists showed up one day and began harangueing you on how to trim your shrubs and mow your lawn?
tiny.ag/onwqmuyz · submitted 2002
Eco-activists would sacrifice everything to preserve the timber wolf's pristine natural habitat--- while the timber wolf would chuck that same habitat in a second for a can opener, a crate of alpo, and a working pair of opposable thumbs.
tiny.ag/s9db0zkw · submitted 2002
Successful promiscuous fornication is not proof of your virility, my friend-- it is merely proof of your partners' lack of taste.
tiny.ag/iel06ooi · submitted 2002
Gun control advocates are snivelling cowards who depend on other people having guns for their safety and defense.
tiny.ag/qsgo3b4a · submitted 2002
It becomes apparent that our society would rather have rampant sex and dead children, than have chastity and have to talk about something besides sex.
tiny.ag/mfyu3wyb · submitted 2002
All the sexually liberated culture has done for women is deny them the moral leverage to say "no."
tiny.ag/j1vxlxnd · submitted 2002
It used to be said that it was hard to argue with success. Liberals have solved that dilemma for themselves quite handily; they have made it a cardinal sin to be successful.
tiny.ag/ojqrucrj · submitted 2002
If it weren't for petty jealousy, demagogues like Jesse Jackson would die of starvation.
tiny.ag/zc20er3b · submitted 2002
In a democracy, sound statesmanship can never withstand a determined effort to incite the public.
tiny.ag/cx6fh79t · submitted 2002
"Don't eat anything with a face?" Fine. I'll abide by that-- as soon as everything with a face promises to not eat me.
tiny.ag/g6ywutk5 · submitted 2002
Human misery isn't caused by chance, fate, or the Poverty Fairy. It's caused
by humans. Always, by humans-- powerful humans who exercise total control,
and who are answerable to noone.....
5261–5280 (5956)