Vice and Virtue
161 aphorisms · 5 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
141–160 (162)
tiny.ag/mltkwzme · submitted 1997
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
tiny.ag/2p8s4z0u · submitted 1997
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.
tiny.ag/krxruwjx · submitted 1999
Be good and you will be lonesome.
Mark Twain, Following the Equator, in Happiness and Misery and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/17uoj5hx · submitted 1997
Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.
tiny.ag/qnvx9otp · submitted 1997
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
tiny.ag/mbwozhf6 · submitted 1997
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
tiny.ag/q2py4esl · submitted 1997
Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain, in Life and Death and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/j8lj2pgz · submitted 1997
Virtue is its own reward. There's a pleasure in doing good which sufficiently pays itself.
tiny.ag/8v5ai4cz · submitted 1997
These days, the wages of sin depend on what kind of deal you make with the devil.
tiny.ag/4izcdfw7 · submitted 1997
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
tiny.ag/zrxpvvz6 · submitted 1997
All men are equal; it is not birth, but virtue alone, that makes the difference.
tiny.ag/v7xs8s9o · submitted 1997
It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.
tiny.ag/wpd94fsg · submitted 1997
The superfluous is very necessary.
tiny.ag/zo3ef1r2 · submitted 1997
Some people are sympathetic; others are just pathetic.
tiny.ag/tqbfx5vp · submitted 1997
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
tiny.ag/iah742zs · submitted 1997
It's very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more gut and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.
tiny.ag/rmw0uaoj · submitted 1997
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
tiny.ag/dtrgibi2 · submitted 1997
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
tiny.ag/dbuk2zcq · submitted 1997
When choosing between evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
tiny.ag/cjkab7en · submitted 1997
I can resist everything except temptation.
141–160 (162)