Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/vwaksnik  ·  submitted 1997

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/0fxuodhb  ·  submitted 1997

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/knyvxbon  ·  submitted 1997

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9djxhqx6  ·  submitted 1997

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/td1vfiu9  ·  submitted 1997

Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

Robert Anton Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/764yzbuo  ·  submitted 1997

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fmchbiz9  ·  submitted 1997

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ahfxksue  ·  submitted 1997

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/43mefad8  ·  submitted 1997

All government -- indeed, every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue and every prudent act -- is founded on compromise and barter.

Edmund Burke, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/1make2qd  ·  submitted 1997

The Brothers Karamazov (paperback)

Everything is permitted.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tacuwmyh  ·  submitted 1997

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/v128alif  ·  submitted 1997

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r6bo5aic  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/otpgz4zj  ·  submitted 1997

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/5otyux70  ·  submitted 1997

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.

Voltaire, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/58hbs9pq  ·  submitted 1997

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/amzxlbug  ·  submitted 1997

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism