Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
121–140 (174)
tiny.ag/r6bo5aic · submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen
Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.
tiny.ag/otpgz4zj · submitted 1997
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
tiny.ag/amzxlbug · submitted 1997
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw · submitted 1997
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/dliywafc · submitted 1997
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/jsphv1u4 · submitted 1999
A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
tiny.ag/kd1gueir · submitted 1997
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
tiny.ag/cjkab7en · submitted 1997
I can resist everything except temptation.
tiny.ag/vwaksnik · submitted 1997
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
tiny.ag/0fxuodhb · submitted 1997
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
tiny.ag/lvmeyokh · submitted 1997
Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
tiny.ag/ixldmygb · submitted 1997
A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/7hdzmwue · submitted 1997
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/itutlzy5 · submitted 1997
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
tiny.ag/9m1hmtxp · submitted 1997
When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport; when the tiger wants to murder him, it's called ferocity.
tiny.ag/lkgjcwse · submitted 1997
Baloney is flattery so thick that it can not be true and blarney is flattery so thin that we like it.
tiny.ag/asecpbyl · submitted 1997
A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
tiny.ag/0ihiksxu · submitted 1997
On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
H. Allen Smith, Let the Crabgrass Grow, in Altruism and Cynicism
121–140 (174)