Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/npf5ywfi  ·   Fair (473 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

Confucius, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/asaliq9g  ·   Fair (3066 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo  ·   Fair (935 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

An Evening Wasted (audio CD)

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/yqo9cx7w  ·   Fair (313 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ndscvllq  ·   Fair (339 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/pbhm4rie  ·   Fair (396 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vmqykh2c  ·   Fair (1049 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/gesq5cpw  ·   Fair (357 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.

Frank Capra, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ieyckbys  ·   Fair (563 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.

Robert Burton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/cgjakfr4  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/y7qkjsrf  ·   Fair (255 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.

R. I. Fitzhenry, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/wvl3nfch  ·   Fair (493 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/ndewfsya  ·   Fair (980 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"

Sigmund Freud, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·   Fair (1237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/qycsaode  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.

Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/kjm5ugma  ·   Fair (201 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Change occurs in direct proportion to dissatisfaction, but dissatisfaction never changes.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/slwohzjt  ·   Fair (549 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's kinda fun to do the impossible.

Walt Disney, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yzqij6mr  ·   Fair (766 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul.

Haldane, in Vice and Virtue and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ymliwjpf  ·   Fair (483 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

War is not nice.

Barbara Bush, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/5gcdbjbx  ·   Fair (413 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Work and Recreation