Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/dkwhzql3  ·   Fair (400 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/6y7nwgkt  ·   Fair (1119 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Brian J. Dent

Too much of a good thing is just that.

Brian J. Dent, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gvfo9jw1  ·   Fair (547 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

Gilbert K. Chesterton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/gwiaxqqe  ·   Fair (436 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Nothing is more intolerable than to have to admit to yourself your own errors.

Ludwig van Beethoven, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/wh6qtopk  ·   Fair (146 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I improve on misquotation.

Cary Grant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/64hrko9k  ·   Fair (1211 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

Thomas Jefferson, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/2cctxyhg  ·   Fair (610 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.

Hans A. Bethe, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/j0vq6ox3  ·   Fair (406 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/e87wmjqg  ·   Fair (558 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/j0xwttzq  ·   Fair (331 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·   Fair (255 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/qycsaode  ·   Fair (1009 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.

Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yamidgsg  ·   Fair (519 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Ignorance does not necesarilly mean one has a lack of wisdom, for a most ignorant person can be one with much wisdom. It's "live and learn" that creates wisdom.

Austin Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/asaliq9g  ·   Fair (3066 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

tiny.ag/raffprlg  ·   Fair (318 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.

Abraham Lincoln, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/fznv6alr  ·   Fair (554 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·   Fair (388 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/z91tc0go  ·   Fair (430 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/r3davdhl  ·   Fair (427 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/iqolobqc  ·   Fair (435 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue