Aphorisms Galore!

Front Page

Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/wpy86lpb  ·  submitted 1997

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/9qotdgih  ·  submitted 1999

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Doug Kenney, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/5rylx71v  ·  submitted 1997

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ircejxuc  ·  submitted 1997

You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.

Al Capone, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/if7zb5ls  ·  submitted 1997

Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.

Molly Ivins, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/b5zelloy  ·  submitted 1997

Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.

Edward Everett, in War and Peace and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ikcjtldg  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/cgydzmit  ·  submitted 1997

To know is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.

Confucius, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ooxlc4p0  ·  submitted 1997

Boring people are a reflection of boring people.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/soebrnq6  ·  submitted 1997

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/dkwhzql3  ·  submitted 1997

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

Jess Lair, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/raffprlg  ·  submitted 1997

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.

Abraham Lincoln, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/y7qkjsrf  ·  submitted 1997

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.

R. I. Fitzhenry, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b  ·  submitted 1997

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/yqgp7fad  ·  submitted 1997

I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/mqbuthzj  ·  submitted 1997 by Brad Johnson

I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.

Jimmy Buffett, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/8hodlqqe  ·  submitted 1997

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confessor of character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/hifvkpkc  ·  submitted 1997

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue