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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv · submitted 1997
I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
tiny.ag/z91tc0go · submitted 1997
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
tiny.ag/odq1svy5 · submitted 1997
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
tiny.ag/wpy86lpb · submitted 1997
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/2cctxyhg · submitted 1997
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
tiny.ag/br8cx6zt · submitted 1997
I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution.
tiny.ag/zpsqkb73 · submitted 1997
The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.
tiny.ag/wh6qtopk · submitted 1997
I improve on misquotation.
tiny.ag/jdfanm7k · submitted 1998
Lately I've found that if it weren't for stereotypes, conversation would be much more difficult for the closed-minded.
tiny.ag/fwsozshx · submitted 1997
If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.
tiny.ag/2xwphyb8 · submitted 1997
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
tiny.ag/kl7xzzq3 · submitted 1997
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.
tiny.ag/mb7skahf · submitted 1997
It is people who live by the rules that are always hoping to get them changed.
tiny.ag/g9nfhw0y · submitted 1997
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
tiny.ag/64hrko9k · submitted 1997
I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
tiny.ag/m6lj8yot · submitted 1997
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
tiny.ag/w4pngtxm · submitted 1999 by Ron Leemans
Leemans' Law: Junk expands to fill the space allotted.
tiny.ag/xachd7wx · submitted 1997
Whenever anyone says anything he is indulging in theories.
Alfred Korzybski, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/hdkst9q4 · submitted 1997
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.