Success and Failure

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.

Unknown, (motto of the Dutch Poet's Society), in Success and Failure

Oliver's Law: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Official Project Stages: (1) Uncritical Acceptance. (2) Wild Enthusiasm. (3) Dejected Disillusionment. (4) Total Confusion. (5) Search for the Guilty. (6) Punishment of the Innocent. (7) Promotion of the Non-participants.

Unknown, in Success and Failure