Success and Failure

Usually, if you're calling any shots at all, you're not eating worms.

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes (the Susie Derkins character), in Success and Failure

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Weisert, in Success and Failure

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

When everyone is against you, it means you are absolutely wrong -- or you are absolutely right.

Albert Guinon, in Success and Failure

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

Sacha Guitry, in Success and Failure

No man who needs a monument ever ought to have one.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, in Success and Failure

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Robert Heller, in Success and Failure

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

Bessie Stanley, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.

Gloria Steinem, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

Casey Stengal, in Success and Failure

Bravery and stupidity go hand in hand.

David Summers, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance