Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
141–160 (174)
tiny.ag/fcmzdpy1 · submitted 1997
A book may be compared to the life of your neighbor. If it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.
tiny.ag/iht7l65u · submitted 1997
Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.
tiny.ag/764yzbuo · submitted 1997
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
tiny.ag/fmchbiz9 · submitted 1997
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
tiny.ag/ahfxksue · submitted 1997
You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.
tiny.ag/43mefad8 · submitted 1997
All government -- indeed, every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue and every prudent act -- is founded on compromise and barter.
tiny.ag/1make2qd · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/tacuwmyh · submitted 1997
He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.
tiny.ag/v128alif · submitted 1997
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.
tiny.ag/9xelzoym · submitted 1997
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.
tiny.ag/p2zj718l · submitted 1997
The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...
tiny.ag/rx3wkhug · submitted 1997
You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?
tiny.ag/r6bo5aic · submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen
Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.
tiny.ag/otpgz4zj · submitted 1997
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
tiny.ag/amzxlbug · submitted 1997
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw · submitted 1997
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/dliywafc · submitted 1997
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/jsphv1u4 · submitted 1999
A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
141–160 (174)