Unknown

Sharks mainly attack when your're wet.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

She's the kind of woman you could fall madly in bed with.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Silverman's Law: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Small minds are the first to condemn great ideas.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Some day my boat will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If you love your job, you will never have to work another day in your life.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation