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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/zzbstsyk · submitted 1997
If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
tiny.ag/hfx4m7bz · submitted 1998 by David Shorr
Wisdom and beauty form a very rare combination
Petronius Arbiter, The Satyricon, XCIV, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/w4s36qc2 · submitted 1997
A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
tiny.ag/la65dtiv · submitted 1998
It was involuntary. They sank my boat.
John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace
tiny.ag/1i8zitnu · submitted 1998
I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harms way.
tiny.ag/hobsgyde · submitted 1997
Why be a man when you can be a success?
tiny.ag/if7zb5ls · submitted 1997
Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.
tiny.ag/p6bwfqfr · submitted 1997
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
tiny.ag/f6aon4ji · submitted 1998
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/a0oxkbo4 · submitted 1997
I think, therefore I am.
tiny.ag/ynhvcg3k · submitted 1997
Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.
tiny.ag/iilw7mtc · submitted 1997
He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower.
tiny.ag/czhkruer · submitted 1997
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
tiny.ag/g9nfhw0y · submitted 1997
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
tiny.ag/vr4hxjva · submitted 1997
Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/d3ttj2ag · submitted 1997
You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
tiny.ag/ooxlc4p0 · submitted 1997
Boring people are a reflection of boring people.
tiny.ag/gwiaxqqe · submitted 1997
Nothing is more intolerable than to have to admit to yourself your own errors.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate